Stone Burlesk

Download an MP3 of the song cult musician Momus wrote about the Stone's original owner. Once you complete the transaction a download link will be emailed to the address you provide.

"Milton Jacobson" by Momus:

Make yourself like Milton Jacobson
To get ahead in vaudeville
Burlesque in Detroit Michigan
To get ahead in vaudeville
Forbidden nights and burning moments
Playful girls and savage crime
If you want to get ahead in vaudeville
Be a witness to the march of time

If you want to get ahead
in the showbiz game
Be sure that your ideas are fresh
Does anybody have a toothpick, ma'am
Has anybody got boiled eggs?
We're going to play a game of Screeno
While the girls kick up their legs
If you can tell a joke
about the eggs I broke
Or a man who had a dog called Sex

Bone 'em up in Barnum's Lexicon
The words that pull the biggest crowd
'Sexotic, sexquisite, sexsational'
Make sure your poster's extra loud
Get girls from the Accordion College
Gigantic reptiles can be nice
Busby Berkley wheelchairs, my oh my
Bums dressed up as bears on ice

You've said such lovely things
about my handlebar mustache
You've said such lovely things
about my hat
Here's a genuine semi-precious stone
I just wanted to tell you that
I've been watching with binoculars
from opposite the theatre
And you're a lovely person, but
You'll never get ahead in vaudeville
If I catch you with your hand in the till
(One more time)
If I catch you one more time
with your hand in the till
You'll never get ahead in vaudeville